Drunken Idiot
by Thesimplelife12345
Summary: What if Medusa got pregnant... from Spirit? Kami's going to be angry... Rated T for langauge, violence, suggestive content, and Spirit.


**This story goes by the name of Drunken Idiot, is in somewhat of Medusa's POV and above all, shows Spirit's idiocy (hence the name). It also shows how much I hate Medusa and my plan to torture her (B (: Just so you know, this story takes place in the academy days of the older generation, and Medusa acts like a teenager because her body is a teenager (don't blame me for that idea! It was my sister's!).**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I own nothing. Not in Soul Eaterness, at least…**

Medusa grinned under the slight light of the overhead lamppost. Yes, tonight would be the night she would start working on her plan, her perfect plan…

Step 1: Seduce Franken Stein into a one night stand, get pregnant and have the perfect child.

Step 2: Raise him/her/it without fear, to become not only a kishin, but the strongest one ever from the black blood.

Step 3: Take over the DWMA, become the strongest Gorgon sister, and take over the world!

It will all come into shape.

If this _idiot_ would stop following her!

"Really, Spirit! Stop following me!" Medusa growled at Spirit as he walked groggily behind her, obviously drunk.

"Oh, but Medusa! You're my perfect little pretty nurse girl sexy person!"

His eyes sparkled as Medusa turned away, trying to conceal her angry snake face.

Oh, yes, she'd kill him, but only when she gets his meister. Then he'd be easy prey and no one would care because… Well, it's Spirit.

Continuing to walk, Medusa noticed Stein, sitting alone on a park bench, silently smoking his cigarette. She ran up to him and grinned with her usual snake accent.

"Stein! Your weapon keeps stalking me! Could you please get rid of him so we could go somewhere alone together…" She leaned on the scientist's shoulder, making sure to show off her cleavage showing dress that had caused Spirit to start stalking her in the first place.

Stein replied with silence and pushed Medusa towards the drunken idiot behind her, or Spirit.

"What? Don't you love me, Franken?" Medusa asked, her eyes begging (as Spirit began to grope her).

"We are both incapable of love, Medusa, especially towards each other," Stein finally explained to her as his weapon began to drag the confused witch away. "Also, if I find out Spirit-sempai is hurt in any way from this event; I will not hesitate to kill you."

Medusa's face froze in fear, knowing for a fact that he was not lying, and that she was also going to have to spend a night with none other than Spirit… Without biting his head off.

_Two Months Later…_

Medusa grimaced once again. She had taken the test three times already, but it still read the positive "pink". She had thought the spell she had cast would have destroyed it, but…

"You're pregnant," Stein stated, the whiteness of the nurse's office of the DWMA surrounding the two of them.

"So? It's your fault!" the snake witch spat, leaving Stein unfazed.

"No, it's not. It's Spirit's."

"But you could have helped me!" Medusa shouted with honest fear in her voice.

"Yes, but that wouldn't make you leave me alone. Also, I want to dissect you. A half-witch is a very interesting test subject…" the mad scientist responded with his usual pang of insanity.

"What makes you sure I'm a witch? Anyway, why do you want to get rid of me and dissect me at the same time?" Medusa asked him, this time with fake fear in an attempt to get more attention.

"They're contradicting forces," the scientist stated before shooting out into the hallway on his desk chair in a laughing fit.

"Medusa's pregnant! Medusa's pregnant!" he shouted in the hallway where everyone heard before crashing into the first wall in his way.

"So, I heard you're pregnant," another nurse, Mira Nygus, stated, poking her head through the doorway to observe Medusa. "How do you feel?"

"I-I feel fine," Medusa responded, trying to smile.

"Really? I heard it hurts a lot and you get cravings, among other things…"

"Like more attention?" Medusa observed as everyone who passed the open doorway of the nurse's office smiled and waved at her. Medusa loathed attention, so she couldn't help but feel annoyed.

"How do you feel, Medusa?"

"Are you happy for yourself?"

Are you going to keep it?"

"After this one, are you planning to have another?"

The snake witch shivered, trying to avoid the endless stream of questions, until…

"Who is the child's father?"

She growled at the deep, monotone voice that all-too-normally stated the question. So, Stein's going to make this hard for her, isn't he? Two can play at that game.

"Who other than Dr. Franken Stein is the father?" Medusa grinned, not bothering to search the room for her obviously emotionless "lover".

"Is that really true?" Stein asked teasingly, before falling to an extremely serious mood. "Medusa, let me explain the obvious to you. I know the woman's anatomy better than any idiot in this room, but I wouldn't be able to tell apart your naked body from any dead hooker on the street."

Some girls flinched at his choice of words, but mostly there was a flow of uneasy laugh traveling through the nurse's office and hallway outside.

Somewhat on cue, Spirit walked out of the bathroom and both Stein's and Medusa's eyes fell to him. Following example, the crowd turned toward the red-haired scythe.

"What? What? Did something happen?" the scythe asked, obviously oblivious of the news that had sweeped the school in a matter of seconds.

"Medusa's pregnant," someone whispered in the crowd, the statement echoing through the school, eventually hitting Spirit's almost deaf not-sober-in-months ears.

"Really? My congraduations to the couple," Spirit smiled, obviously not gripping the situation.

"Sempai, I'm not the father."

"Really? Then who is? I'd love to meet the lucky chum!" Spirit spun for emphasis, but became dizzy and fell to the floor.

"You are."

The crowd murmured in shock. How would the almost deathscythe respond? Does he even remember?

Spirit put his finger on his chin and nodded.

"Ah."

He turned back into the bathroom. The crowd watched, completely silent.

That's Spirit for you.

"Wait, WHAT?" a load tenor voice shouted from the men's room.

Yep, now that's Spirit for you.

"Took you a few seconds, Sempai; how long has it been since you were sober?" the scientist asked, grinning sadistically at the pain in Spirit's voice.

The idiotic scythe ran out of the bathroom, waving his arms and eyes watering.

"But why don't I remember anything?" His shouts took the silent school by alarm, but all the students remained mute. "Did I squeeze her perfectly round breasts as she moaned my name in thanks? Or did we go straight to the blow job, where her perfect little wet mouth enveloped me completely, bobbing up and down as I could not help but be out of breath? But I guess since Medusa is pregnant, there was some penetration and—"

"Shut up!"

The crowd turned their heads once again to Medusa, who was actually blushing. Somehow, the whole ordeal had gotten to her _so much_ that she was actually _embarrassed_.

Realizing that the crowd was staring at her, Medusa turned her head in an attempt to conceal her face. "…I should have just given him a hand job. That would have tired him out quickly…"

"Nah. Spirit-sempai tends to be more durable when he's drunk," Stein explained.

Medusa gave him a scared look. "How the hell do you know—Oh, whatever. I'm going home, don't follow me."

The crowd slowly began to break up; sensing the bulk of it was over. They all began to return to what they were doing, except for one person…

"THAT MEANS YOU, SPIRIT! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Damn."

**Let's get ourselves some author's notes! Before, my dad was rushing me to get off his laptop, so I didn't get to type this, but I'm typing now! :3 I just want to point out that this is _the first chapter_ of a series. I'm only pointing that out because everyone seems to be only faving... Oh, and please review. It shows you care ;)**


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